Decades ago I heard a story about a mom who flat out disobeyed God. I never understood her disobedience. Until I did. Until I became a mom who almost did the same thing.
“Study Spanish,” She heard God ask deep within her heart.
Several times He asked her. But her excuse was always, “I cant take time away from raising these kids you entrusted to me. It can wait Lord, right?”
She waited. And instead, executed the noble, time consuming and exhausting job of raising school-aged kids.
Some time later she picked up a magazine. On the front cover, mudslides gutted the landscape of a foreign country.
God spoke to her again. “What’s missing from this photo?”
Then as she sat in silence still gripping the magazine, He answered His own question.
“You.”
I scoffed. What kind of timid, scared woman would miss God like that? I would never.
Cavalier and immature, I spurted out that accusation and many other harsh judgments on moms before I became one.
Over the last 10 years since becoming a mom, God has whispered several invitations for ministry on my heart as well. Often I’ve thought of the “Study Spanish” mom and tried to give God my yes. Thankfully, when I have said yes, He’s piggybacked those invitations with wisdom.
“Don’t overreach and take on too much responsibility. Do only what I ask. Purpose to maintain balance between family responsibilities and ministry, avoiding burnout on either end.”
Because where Study-Spanish-Mom’s sin may have been procrastination, mine is perfectionism-in motherhood and ministry.
Tables Turned
Recently however, the second of our three girls started school. So while some of the physical demands of parenting (i.e.. dressing them, cleaning up after e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g) decreased, the mental and emotional needs of my girls spiked. Fourth-grade-homework-help provokes my perfectionism and revitalizes my fear of failure everyday.
Needless to say, I do not have motherhood in the bag. I never did, but this shift in their needs shakes the parenting throttle in my hand and I feel more out of control than ever. What’s more, when I let high expectations of myself get the best of me, parenting often feels like heaps of work and little reward.
Recently, during the chaos of one of those low reward days, I yell to my husband from the kitchen, “I need a minute!”
Ignoring a floor littered in toys, I reach for my journal and the nearest study bible I can find. I whip my hair into a ponytail, snatch my purse and hoody off the hook and drive to Target. This isn’t time for coffee and a breather. I need to hear God. I need Him to speak into my bruised mother heart right now.
Sliding into a corner table in the café, I turn my back to Target. Defeat brims my eyelids, but the fierce frustration squeezing through my chest refuses their escape. I really love this new ministry project I am a part of, but it crowds my brain and burns energy that may be better spent on my family.
Now “Study Spanish” mom and I stand eye to eye and heart to heart. I fully understand why she surrendered to the noble excuse to wait, and take care of the kids first.
Lord, is it possible to do ministry in this season of motherhood? Should I quit this ministry project and put myself through some kind of parenting boot camp?
Study Stephen
Stephen a man known for his faith and fruits of the Spirit shows us we can do both. (Acts 6:1-5) In the early church, when the Greek speaking widows were overlooked at mealtimes due to culture and language barriers, the apostles chose Stephen to look after their daily needs.
Greeks were his people. His family. He knew their culture and spoke their language. Compared to the Hebrew converts, Stephen could best understand and serve their needs.
But meeting the practical needs of his people did not inhibit him from using his spiritual gifts.
He not only fed lunch to the widows, but he also performed “great wonders and signs among the people.” (Acts 6:8) If Stephen a young man in his late 20’s can both serve the daily practical needs of his people and walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, so can a busy mom.
Fumbling daily through the beautiful chaos of motherhood doesn’t disqualify you from God’s customized ministry opportunities outside your home. And serving in ministry doesn’t mean you are a half-hearted mom. We CAN do both.
Has fear of failing as a mom held you back from certain ministry opportunities? Have you ever felt selfish for wanting to serve in ministry? These two dreams can live simultaneously in a surrendered life.
Together lets ask God for wisdom to balance it all and then Go For It!
Take a chance and follow all your dreams today, powerful Momma xo
You are not alone Tara, I’m guessing every parent has been through this.
Just remember your priorities. They should always be, Your personal relationship with God first, your husband and children (in that order) next, then extended family, church, friends, neighbors… These are precious years with your kiddos, before you know it they are gone and you can never get them back. No guilt!
There will be lots of time for “outside” ministry as they get older. Your family is your mission field for now….
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