It’s late in the evening. Past the point of rational reactions. My request for her to brush her teeth elicits a spray of tears and chest heaving sobs.
By this time, I am empty of empathy and can only think of snuggling up to my husband with a cup of decaf to watch “our show”.
Really, a meltdown about brushing teeth?
I breathe out a forced sigh, and throw my arms up clenching my fingers around an imaginary ball, attempting to defuse my fury before I face my girl. I stomp toward the stairs. Then I remember a children’s book I read to the girls earlier that morning. Immediately I slow and soften my steps.
In her book Listening to My Body, author, counselor and mom, Gabi Garcia, encourages children to connect with the sensations and feelings their bodies experience in different circumstances.
Tonight my girl is exhausted. Her little body has had it. She doesn’t need me to yell and push her to do another task. She needs me to hug her and help her. And, ultimately, tuck her little body under her covers so she can rest and recharge her little-girl-body-battery.
I scoop her up and tell her, “ You are ok, honey. You are just tired. You played hard today. See how your body feels right now? It’s telling you to lay down and sleep. You are ok. Everything will be ok. Let me help you.”
Adults are no different. We need to connect with our bodies and hear what they’re telling us.
Deadening ourselves or killing our bodies’ sensations and appetites for fear of sinning is not how God intends us to resist sin. Overcoming sin is done by feeling those things honestly and surrendering them to Jesus in real time.
The bible says, yield our bodies to Him. God will make them holy.(Romans 6:19)
Fear does not exist in love.(1 John 4:18) We don’t need to hide our sinful urges from God or scramble to kill them ourselves. God asks us to surrender and yield them to Jesus. When we do, He promises to make our bodies alive in Him.
If we have been abused by someone or abused our own bodies in the past, it is easiest to deaden all of our body sensations and appetites. We avoid feeling pain or soul sucking guilt and shame if we train ourselves to feel nothing.
God, however, has another way. His way. He wants to awaken our bodies to true life. A life with Him. Filled with excitement, joy, and pleasure. Physical pleasure in our bodily members.
It’s time to connect with our bodies again. We can trust God to help our bodies honor Him.
Yes, when we come to Christ we die and put our members to death. (Romans 6:6-7)
We know that our old (unrenewed) self was nailed to the cross with Him in order that [our] body [which is the instrument] of sin might be made ineffective and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves of sin.(Romans 6:6, AMPC)
But that is not the end of it.
Now if we have died with Christ , we believe that we shall also live with him. (Romans 6:8)
Our bodies are dead to sin, but alive to God. Alive to feel and experience all the beautiful sensations He created for us to enjoy. Sensations experienced within us by our unique reaction to the world around us.
Your body is created by God to love God and be loved by him. To love people and be loved by them. We are created to enjoy life and be enjoyed.
Appetites
When we are abused by others or ourselves, the purity of our needs get jumbled. God wants to right all of our misguided and confusing appetites and put them back in order.
Our appetites live in our bodies. Appetites are good. God created our bodies’ appetites to signal needs. Hunger, thirst , the need for affection, attention and sex are normal appetites.
The pleasure felt from satisfied appetites is a gift.
Urges and Flashbacks
As we learn to reconnect with our bodies, mistimed and misguided urges will resurface. Flashbacks of things done to us unmute.
Resist the temptation to shut down.
Instead, in those moments give Jesus the fear inducing urges and flashbacks. Don’t try to hide them or kill them yourself. Hand it to Jesus. Shift from will power to cross power. Honestly show it to God. Continuous surrender to Him from a place of gut honest reality will bring the change we desire. (Romans 6:13-16)
Coming Back to Life
Your body is not your enemy. Your body is not supposed to be a carcass housing the spirit of God in it. It is a beautiful temple. Simple clay brought to life by the Spirit of God living in your spirit.
We can experience and relish the good sensations and appetites as a gift. We can enjoy eating, walking, running, and relaxing with our feet up. We can enjoy hugs and receive pats on the back without flinching. Sex is a gift we can enjoy freely and fully with your one and only.
Love your body back to life. Commit all of your body parts to God.
This doesn’t happen overnight. Some days it will feel like we are Frankenstein rising up from the table. It will scare us. But God is holding us during the entire unnerving transformation. And little by little, in small steps and small whispers from God, we will come back to life in our true, pure and holy form.
Start the journey back to life with me today. I’m learning as I go, too.
Your body is good and righteous. Tell it to your body today. Wrap your arms across your upper body squeeze gently and tell yourself “You are me. You are mine. I accept you.”
Next Steps:
Start an activity to help you reconnect with your body.
Take a dance class.
Schedule session with a personal trainer or take a class at the gym. (yoga, weight training, zumba etc.)
Run or walk at a brisk pace for 30 minutes.
Stretch for 20 minutes. Find a video on YouTube to guide you.
Dance however you want to. Pick a genre on Pandora and go for it. Slow or fast, be you.
Go for walks or hikes and concentrate on how the air wind and temperature feel on your skin.
How does your body feel as you move and create different shapes with your body?
How does your chest and belly feel as you breathe through the exercises?
How do your muscles feel as you squeeze and hold positions?
How do you feel inside as you experience different sensations on your skin and inside your body?
Your body is you. It is alive and pure and holy.
Tell your body today. “You are mine, you are me, I accept you. “
*This post is dedicated to J, S, and C. We are coming back to life.
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