2020-2021 has been a year of deep lament for many reasons.
The lament of holy week this year has taken on very personal meaning for countless numbers of Americans. Here we trace through a friendship of two who grieved together.
During Holy week we recount the story of Mary of Bethany pouring expensive oil on Jesus head and feet to anoint him for burial. A tender moment days before those bare feet were impaled with filthy steel spikes. Jesus knew He was about to suffer unimaginable pain. He’d warned His disciples about what was coming. Mary chose to enter into His grief. She spared no expense or appearance of reputation to join her Friend and comfort Him in that moment. She did what she could (Mark 14:8).
Jesus’ Feet
Mary had a history of time spent at the feet of Jesus. Let’s take a trip around the feet of Jesus with Mary of Bethany.
The first time we meet her in the scriptures her family is hosting a dinner party. Guests greet one another and find places to sit. Mary, however, instead of setting the table and serving appetizers, sits cross legged at Jesus’ feet. Her eyes lock onto the face of this amazing teacher and storyteller. Surprisingly, this Rabbi was asking about her story too.
Her sister Martha complains to Jesus about Mary not helping with the party prep. And Jesus says, “No friend, this is the place to be. Mary’s got the right idea.”
Jesus stayed with Mary, and her siblings often. Whenever He visited Bethany or traveled through that area, He stayed with Mary, Martha and Lazarus. Not only was Jesus their Lord, He was also their friend. And the feelings of friendship were mutual (John 11:3, 5,11).
Your Friend is Sick
For instance when Lazarus is sick and dying, Mary and Martha send word to Jesus saying, “The one who you love is sick, Please come to us.” The Greek word for love used in that verse is the love of friendship. Some translations read, “Jesus, your dear friend”…and…”Jesus, your close friend is sick.”
When Jesus gets the message about Lazarus He waits a few days before going to His friends. And when He finally leaves to go see them, Lazarus is already dead. When Martha and Mary hear He is close to their house only Martha goes out to find Him. Mary stays behind. In her mind, Jesus let her down as both her Lord and her friend.
When Mary finally sees Jesus, she melts at His feet in grief and disappointment. Her swollen eyes soaking with watery pain can barely meet his gaze and she says, “if only you had been here, Jesus. This never would have happened.”
Friends and family circle around Mary weeping with her. And Jesus, witnessing this collective moan of lament, and His dear friend sobbing at his feet, is jolted to His core. Anger at unjust death and the pain it causes clutches Him. And He weeps with them.
Enter In
He knew He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. He knew death was not going to win. But He didnt swat away the groans of His friends. Or stand on top of it and declare with hands raised that He is the resurrection and the life. No, He waded into their grief with them. He paused and wrapped His humanness in the deep soul song of His friends. He didn’t hustle through lament.
This year on our American calendar Resurrection Sunday has come and gone, but many Americans are still lamenting unrecovered loss. Like Jesus, we 100% believe in life after death, but we do not rush grief. And we do not deny injustice. We enter in. We listen past the uncomfortable way people vent pain. We hear the words and stories seeping through the deep emotions. We do not let uncomfortable feelings derail compassion. We belong to one another. And no one gets left behind in her grief. We enter in.
Prayer
Lord where our hearts have grown cold towards one another, baptize us in the fire of brotherly love.
Lord, where fear numbs our compassion, open us up again.
Lord, where denial slings mud over the place where anger at injustice should pulse, wash us.
Let grief and anger at injustice turn from being only their burden to our collective burden to bear. Bring us back to one another.
Teach us how to once again weep with those who weep, and mourn with those who mourn. (Romans 12:15)
In Jesus Name. Amen
